What is the difference between your personality and your character? This question has come up several times in recent months, both in our family discussions and in online media presentations. This question along with others of similar depth, I’ll be adding to my growing blog, in an attempt to define my perceptions of these deep topics and leave a record of my thinking for my daughters to read.
When I asked Google to compare personality and character this is the response it provided. “Personality refers to an individual’s consistent patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, while character encompasses an individual’s moral and ethical qualities, values, and beliefs. “
I define personality as the traits and characteristics of a person that make them unique and that they present to the exterior world. Some of these traits include being an introvert or an extrovert, being agreeable or seeking out controversy, as well as a presentation of how a person defines and categorizes themselves in relation to other people. My own personal definition is that personality is what you allow other people to see of yourself when you know that they are looking, evaluating and judging you as a person. Many of the articles I’ve read about personality suggest that it is something developed over time and is relatively consistent compared to character which these same articles say is something that is transient and adaptable over a person’s life.
Character on the other hand involves the standards of behavior and values that you live your life by. Examples of character traits are being an honest person, having integrity and compassion and showing courage through your actions. Most people when they talk about character relate these traits and behaviors as part of a person’s upbringing and often it is related to beliefs and principles attached to religion. In a lot of literature that I’ve read about character, authors often suggest that a person’s character is a reflection of core beliefs, principles and values that often are set early in life but at the same time can be dynamic and evolved throughout a person’s life. My own personal definition is that character is what you say and do when you think nobody is looking.
I believe personality is much more malleable and dynamic than a person’s character. Everyone knows a person who has multiple personalities and persona that they project when they are in the company of various groups of friends, coworkers or strangers. A person could seem to have the personality traits of an introvert who is shy and serious minded, when with one group of people, and seems to have the personality traits of an extreme extrovert who is loud has a great sense of humor and very charismatic when around their close friends and family. These personality shifts, are in my opinion, different masks or costumes that a person applies to themselves to meet the expectations and gain favor with the people that they are around.
I view character as the much more stable and long term core values that a person possesses and lives their life adhering to, regardless of the people they interact with. As an example loyalty is a character trait defines the strong commitment and faithfulness to someone or something that often involves unwavering support and dedication. A loyal friend is a person that can be counted on even when times are tough or challenging and you know that they will stay true to supporting or being part of your team. Character and the many traits that are associated with it I believe are tied to universal truths that all humans know and understand without having to be explicitly trained on them through life experiences or religion. I know many people will challenge this line of thinking, but consider this thought exercise.
If you met a person from another country, and you didn’t know their religion, political leaning or how they were raised, would they have the same character traits that you hold as universal truths? By that I mean, would they possess loyalty as a core value? Take that one step further and ask yourself if an alien showed up on your doorstep one day and wanted to talk about character, would they also have the character trait of loyalty? I believe that character traits are how we humans interpret the universal and absolute definitions of right and wrong that are instilled in our DNA by our creator. I believe that all humans at some point in their life, know right from wrong and make personal decisions to accept or reject these universal truths to fit their life circumstances. I know some people will have a heart attack about now, because I just jumped from talking about character to universal truths that define right and wrong for every person, in every situation, throughout all of history. It is my belief that there are universal and absolute definitions of right and wrong that shape and define our character traits.
In thinking about the relationship between personality and character,r I choose to always be true to my character traits even if that is unpopular or causes others to judge me. When I’m thinking about character traits I’m including things like courage, honesty, humbleness, loyalty, discipline, resilience, and honor. Again I state that personality is how you act and what you show other people about yourself when you know that they are looking, and a person’s character is how they act and make decisions when they think no one else is watching. Character always Trump’s personality in my book! I refuse to follow a charismatic person until they have proved to me that they have character traits that I value. The world today seems to be full of people with great personalities but who lack character when it matters most. It seems that personality can be turned on and off and can vary between circumstances and groups of people in proximity of a person whereas character is their underlying core values that define the motives of a person’s actions. To my daughters, I hope that I have shown you that I have good character because my personality isn’t all that great!!
